The Brunt of the Blow

If you haven't figured it out yet by the posts I've already created, I am ridiculously silly. I am so silly, it is a miracle that I've made it this far into college. Sometimes, I think I'm so silly that I should just become a comedian, but then only three people would find my jokes to be funny and I would die a poor, lonely hobo out on the cold Salt Lake streets.

With all this silliness, you'd think that I'd need some sort of outlet for it, right?

Spoiler alert: I totally do. I need someone to validate it.

And naturally, you would think that person would be someone who would get my jokes, right?

Spoiler alert: it totally is. 

And naturally, the logical person to fill this spot would be Korrin, right?

Spoiler alert: no.

Let me repeat that.

No. Korrin is not the person I send all my silly rambles to.

"But that makes no sense!" you cry. "Who are you going to tell?!"

Answer: I tell Amanda.

Whenever I do/think/say something hilarious, my immediate reaction is to email Hermana Lloyd and tell her how hilarious I am.

This usually works out fairly well. I'll shoot off a quick email and get a response the next P-day. Not only does it validate me, but it gives me the chance to learn the value of patience. Also, I generally forget that I've written to her and I get to be reminded just how funny I am while being validated for being funny.

Korrin just tells me I'm silly and then moves on with her day.

Amanda and I start hypothetical boat races featuring Erik and wax Harrison Ford.

Now, this has all been a big introduction to the point I wanted to bring up: the weird, random crap I send to Amanda all the time. Trust me--this is where the story gets good.

Last night, with the power of a single Benadryl flowing through my blood stream at eleven o'clock at night, I opened up my scriptures and started to read.

The following is an exact transcript of what I sent to Amanda.

Subject: This is why I need to sleep

 

Read 1 Nephi 3:2

Got it?

Okay.

Get ready for this.

*clears throat*

I dreamed a dream in time gone byyyyy

Well, actually, it was last niiiiiight

I dreamed about geneologyyyyy

And some gold plates we need to go geeeeeet

These plates are really pretty coooool

They'll tell us lots of awesome storieeeees

Except they don't belong to uuuuuuus

They kind of belong to that one guy Labaaaaaaan

But Laban's men stand in the wayyyyy

So you'll have to bargain with hiiiiiim

And be careful; he's not niiiiiiiice

In fact, he's usually a jeeeeeeeeeeeEEEEEEEEERK

Anyways, you'll have to goooooo

While I stay here with your mothereeer

Sorry about your older brotheeeeers

Yeah, I know, they're big old whineeeeers

But I know that you'll be goooood

Because you trust God and you're awesomeeeeee

You can go, and you can dooooooo

And you'll come out victorioooooooous

I had a dream about a treeeeeeee

Oh wait that hasn't quite happened yet

Don't worry, I bet I'll have one SOOOOOOOON

'Cause as a man of God

There are lots of dreams

I

Dreeeeeeeeeeeeeeam

I would apologize, but I'm not sorry.

~Kylie 

Children are Flipping Hilarious

1/30/14
I work for an Elementary school and some times those kids are the only good things that happen to me that day. They can also be the things that I want to yell at more than anything most days, but you can't have everything.
I work with the 5th graders and today was a very special day. Today was their maturation day.  Maturation day is a day when they separate the boys and girls and teach them all the wonderful things that happens to a body when they go through puberty. If you have ever been around an eleven year old you can imagine how well it goes.  My kids came into homework room going, "Miss Korrin, it was so terrible and gross!" Of course I asked them what had happened and they told me. It took all of my will power to hold in my raucous laughter. You see T.O.M. happened to visit me this week. So the kids came in and were complaining about how gross it is growing up and the stuff your body does and I can only sit there laughing silently to myself because I was going through exactly the kind of thing they were talking about and I completely agreed with what they were saying. It was also funny because it was just the boys screaming about how terrible it was. The girls kept saying, "It really wasn't that gross."
Also 5th grade boys get way to excited about deodorant. Each and every one of them came and showed me their free deodorant. All of them. The best part was my coworker (who is male) was like "Man, I really want free deodorant." The laughter was flowing at the beginning of work today.

So that is my story of how children can be flipping hilarious.

In other news, my roommate Camas and I just finished watching the first act of Holy Musical B@man so I am super happy right now.  She is loving it and soon I will have someone in Logan that I can share my happiness with completely.  TOTES EXCITED!

-Korrin

The Church of Hufflepuff

1/26/14
Kylie and I talk during church. It happens, we are starting to not be able to go through church without each other.  And today was super hilarious. This happened in Kylie's Sunday School class today.

Yeah, thats right. Our Church is full of Hufflepuffs. We proved it all through my Sacrament Meeting and through her Relief Society.

I was entertained through all of sacrament. This was way more entertaining than talks on family history. I mean...I listen in church. Of course I listen. I am a good member of this Church.

So that is how we proved that our church is now full of Hufflepuffs. No wonder Sister Emily Face is such a good missionary and has always been the most upright of us in churchy matters.  She is the perfect member from being a Hufflepuff.

And yet another reason proving that Kylie and I are the most hilarious people on the face of the planet.

--Korrin

I'm Starting To Sense A Reoccuring Theme On This Blog

Korrin is trying to kill me.

Does anyone else see the problem with this? Anyone?

Because I do.

I very much see a problem with this.

I want to live and not-die. This is a thing I try to do on a daily basis, in fact.

But does Korrin care about this goal?

NO.

NO SHE DOES NOT.

She blatantly told me that she was going to kill me this weekend. She told me last night while we were texting.

My friends have no regard for my safety.

Coincidentally, that is also the title of this drawing I made just before Amanda and Emily left:

ANYWAYS, all of you should donate to the Foundation For Helping Kylie Not Die By Korrin's Hand.

Please.

Every dollar counts.


Also, I don't want to die.


~Kylie

So Maybe I Have A New Obsession

There's this doll maker online and I'm really good at procrastinating making them and I might need rehab to kick this addiction.


Try to guess who all of these are:

 

 

 

(Hint: They're all Anna and Elsa from Frozen)

 

This one is Christine in the Elissa costume... when she's in Hannibal... which is a fake opera... in The Phantom of the Opera... which is not confusing at all. It's also the first one I made.

 

 

Here's Lizzie Bennett...

Lydia Bennett...

And Jane Bennett! (She wants me to tell you that it's so nice to see you.)

 

 

And then, of course, I made me. I had to.

 

 

 

 

So don't worry. I'm keeping busy up here at school.

 

~Kylie