God Has A Sense Of Humor That Most Mortals (me) Don't Necessarily Appreciate

Note: This post is several days a week overdue. But I felt it was important to post. So if there are any time-related incongruities, please forgive me, I have been working on this since the first of September.


Long accurate title is long and accurate.

Basically, last Sunday started as "FAST SUNDAY! YAY BLESSINGS! BOO HUNGER!" And that was more or less all I expected out of the day.

And then I got asked to say the closing prayer in Sacrament meeting.

Now, most people would rather pray than give a talk or do anything else, and that's fine. But I would rather speak every week than pray in front of people. The only explanation I have is that I'm an introverted Drama geek and would rather talk in front of 500 people than talk to them on a one-on-one basis. Not to mention that I feel like prayers are so individualized and personal that it's hard for me to open up and pray.

But there I was, sitting in Relief Society, being asked by the second counselor in the bishopric to pray. So I said yes.

I have no shame in admitting that I started to panic. In fact, I started to pray that I wouldn't say a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad prayer. It was like prayer-ception. And then I texted my mom and was like "MOM. PRAY FOR ME." And she did because she's awesome (*waves* Hi Mom!). But I was still super worried because I didn't feel prepared.

So then I'm sitting there in Sacrament meeting, and suddenly something Hermana Lloyd said starts ringing in my ears. Suddenly, I had to be brave. I had to do something for me. And I had to jump up and bear my testimony.

I don't think I've ever popped up out of my seat so fast in my entire life. I knew if I didn't get up right then, I wouldn't get up at all, and I somehow knew I had to stand at the pulpit and speak for me. I had to wait for 2-3 people to bear their testimonies before I could get up, but I wasn't scared. I just felt peace. Usually, I'm terrified when I have to stand and bear my testimony. But I wanted to stand and scream it out then and there. I think maybe it was meant to give me a glimpse of what our missionaries feel. Because that was what I bore my testimony on--having my mission be here. That I felt like my place was here, as all of you readers already know, and not out in the mission field. I said a couple of other important things, too, and then scurried back to my seat.

But the weirdest thing happened (and by "weird" I mean "God is smarter than me and knows how to answer my prayers using what we like to call 'the right way'") was the fact that I just felt better about everything, even the upcoming prayer. And you know what? I didn't feel like an idiot when I prayed, either. It was probably the best prayer I've ever said in public not including the primary prayers where mom walks up and tells you what to say also HI AGAIN MOM! and definitely the only prayer that it seemed like I never had to thought about. My gratitude simply poured out into my words and helped me feel like I was giving a competent prayer.

I'm so grateful that I was able to have that experience, even though I was so worried at the beginning. Our Heavenly Father and our Savior know exactly what we need, even if we don't want that to be our answer. But even then, they aren't going to just drop you and let you run with it--they'll be with you every step of the way.

~Kylie